I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Enjoy the penises
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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