It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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