I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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