I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
