My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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