All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
