oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
