dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
