im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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