he puts the penis in happiness.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
