This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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