nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
