This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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