their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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