If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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