tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
