maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
