You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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