Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
