what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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