bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
