the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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