is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
