What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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