I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
