Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
