Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
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So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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