So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
