Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
