the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
