SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You were trust falling into bushes
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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