Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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