Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
