well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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