i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It all started with a game of naked twister.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
