let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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