Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
