Swine flu. Run for my life!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's blow job season.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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