The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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