Is it normal to miss your booty call?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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