honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
