The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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