threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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