He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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