you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
