that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
