omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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