dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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