I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
