a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
