just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
