she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
