just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
