i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
