I didn't shave. On purpose
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dick has a subreddit
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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