So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize