Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
